Finding Balance: Session Five - Our Communication

Finding Balance

A series of suggestions to help balance our energies

and our sense of self

There are seven main energy centres throughout our bodies, known in some philosophies as chakras. These energy centres align with the spine, from its base to the crown of the head. They have been described as swirling wheels of our vital life force, where matter and consciousness meet, and they correspond to significant nerve centres in the body. It's important for our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being that these energy centres stay open, unblocked, and balanced. Each of the seven sessions focuses on a different energy centre. They can be used by individuals or by groups. 

The workshops offered on this blog are the result of my thoughts, reflections, and experiences, woven together using my own words and sometimes adapting the words others have used: I am indebted to their wisdom. Please use these workshops freely, adapting them as suits your own context. I am always pleased to hear from people who have used them.

Session Five : Our Communication

The fifth work-shop is to do with the energy centre of the Throat, our source of

verbal expression and the ability to speak our highest truth. For this session you

will need:

• a rug or mat, a notepad and pen, a small mirror, and a blue or turquoise pendant for each participant (remember to have some extras for unexpected attendees)
• rose, frankincense, sandalwood, jasmine, neroli or ylang ylang incense (if no-one has any problems with the vapour) and matches
• a glass or cup large enough to contain juice enough for all present to take a sip

You may also wish to play music during the meditation, in which case choose

something quiet, calm, and unobtrusive.

Welcome, Introduction, and Feedback:

Welcome to you all, as we meet again to continue to exploring ways of finding greater balance between all the elements that combine to make up our selves.
Today is our fifth session, and we'll be learning something about the fifth energy centre, known as the centre of purification, where faith and understanding are said to combine to enable us to speak, listen, and express our selves in truth.
This energy centre is located at our throats; it's connected to the element of ether, the upper regions above the clouds and the sense it involves is, perhaps surprisingly, not speaking but hearing.
But first, we'll take some time to share with each other how we got on with hugs, affirmations, and not criticising, what we did just because we love doing it, whatever you've all brought with you that you feel expresses your thoughts about your heart, about love, which we thought about last time...

Reflecting on Communication:

We've all just been speaking and listening to one another. Of course, there are lots of ways of communicating, but today we're thinking particularly about verbal communication. It's been said that authentic expression doesn't always come easily: it relies on a delicate balance between saying what you mean and staying tactful, diplomatic, unhurtful. But maybe sometimes we take what seems to be the easy option, and say what we think the other person wants to hear, instead of speaking what we see as the truth. We might do this because we don't want to be hurtful, or because we're afraid that if we say what we really mean we may be judged and found different, odd, unacceptable. And sometimes we let our ugly feelings out, and we do hurt others, and we hurt our selves, especially if we hold on to the sense of guilt about what we've said or how we've said it.
Think for a moment about a time when you did just that, when you spoke perhaps without thinking, and caused hurt:
How did you feel afterwards? What did you do about it?...
And now think about a time when someone else said something about you, perhaps unexpectedly, that was particularly positive and affirming...
How did that make you feel? Has it affected what you say and do?...

The Litany of the Elements:

We call upon the elements to purify and renew us:

Powers of Earth, come to us, to cleanse our bodies of illness:

       May our bodies be filled with healing, health, and wholeness.

Powers of Air, come to us, to cleanse our minds of confusion:

       May our minds be filled with wisdom, insight, and peace.

Powers of Fire, come to us, to cleanse our actions of selfishness:
        May our actions be filled with gentleness, empathy, and justice.
Powers of Water, come to us, to cleanse our hearts of resentment:

       May our hearts be filled with compassion, forgiveness, and trust.

Powers of Spirit, come to us, to cleanse our souls of fear:

       May our souls be filled with hope, joy, and love.

Speaking our Truth:
The work we've done on our first four energy centres will have helped to prepare us for becoming more open to the level of communication that honours our selves and the people -and the creatures! - we listen to and talk with. For example, opening our first and second centres helps us to feel confident and positive; working on our sense of personal power, and on our hearts, the third and fourth centres, will help us recognise our own truths and our own validity.
I'm sure we've all had that feeling of having a lump in our throats, perhaps when we're full to the brim of emotion, or when we don't know how to speak the right words, or when we're afraid to speak out...
The health of the throat chakra is linked with how openly and honestly we can express ourselves, without being opinionated or over-critical; and repressing feelings or thoughts - our truths - will manifest in some way and can make us quite ill.
Imbalance in our centre of communication can cause sore throats, mouth ulcers, thyroid dysfunctions, laryngitis, and tooth and gum problems, as well as making us indecisive, lacking in authority, changeable, easily influenced by others, and eventually so stressed we may turn to alcohol or drugs.
But a big challenge of this chakra to us all is not only to express our selves honestly, but to receive and assimilate honest information both given to us by others, and realised deep inside us, about our selves.
Think for a moment about something someone has said about you...
Were you glad or sorry to hear it? Did it ring true?...
And now think about something that you have realised about your self...
Did you wish you hadn't? Have you pretended you didn't hear your self? Or has it helped you become better?...

Praticing to Speak Our Truth:

Many of us are used to being accommodating, rather than simply saying what we want, so we may need to do a bit of practice in how to do it! Affirmations are useful to start with.
Think of something good, something affirming, about the person sitting on your left. Write it down on your notepad, as if the person themselves were saying it.
For example, I could write down about (name): I greet people with a welcoming warm smile.
Ok, a few minutes to write...
Now pass your notepad to the person on your left - and we'll go round the circle, saying out loud what's been written, starting on my left with (name) who says: 

“I greet people with a welcoming warm smile”...

It's important to focus on people's positive aspects, and learn to appreciate people for what they bring us, rather than getting stuck in the irritation of what we think they lack or do wrong: apart from anything else, such irritation causes imbalance in us, so actually we're the ones who suffer!

Now on the notepad you're holding, write down something positive and honest and affirming about your self... 
And again, we'll go round the circle, saying out loud what you've written...

Now think of something you've really been wanting to ask someone for - perhaps a change in conditions at work, a pay rise, help from your partner, a phone call before an unexpected visit from a friend...

Write down as concisely as you can the phrase you could use to ask for it...
Then take one of these little mirrors and practice saying it into the mirror.
We'll do it all at the same time, so there'll be a bit of a babble going on, and none of us will pay any attention to what anyone else is saying...

Ok, now simply sit and look at your own face in the mirror, and, when you can, say honestly to yourself “I love you.”
There's no rush, and this time you don't need to speak out loud!
But when you've said it, put your mirror down so I know you're done...

Practicing Listening:

It's been said that before we speak, we should ask three things: Is what I'm about to say true? If so, we ask: Is what I'm about to say necessary? And again if so, we ask: Is what I'm about to say kind?

All this focussing on speaking the truth doesn't mean we can be careless about

being hurtful or critical: truth from deep within us will come across as kind and compassionate. One way of being kind and compassionate is in fact not to speak at all but to listen, to listen properly, giving the other person our full attention. Sometimes it seems we've forgotten how to properly listen, not least because we're often surrounded by noise: traffic, sirens, aeroplanes, trains, radios & TVs, other people on their mobile phones, us on our mobile phones...

We're going to do three exercises now to help us re-learn how to listen.

First of all, making sure we're sitting comfortably, we close our eyes, steady our breathing... and now listen to any sounds inside this building – each other's breathing, someone's tummy rumbling, water gurgling in the pipes...
And now, keeping your eyes closed, focus on any sounds outside - traffic going past, bird song, children playing...
When you're ready, open your eyes again...

Our second exercise is just as simple and just as demanding: we're going to recite the English alphabet – three times! The first time we say it, listen only to your own voice; the second time we say it, focus on hearing your immediate neighbours voices; the third time, try to hear the whole room, speaking in harmony...

And our third exercise is – we're going to sing!

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found; Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come;

’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me, His Word my hope secures;

He will my Shield and Portion be, As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess, within the veil, A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, The sun forbear to shine;

But God, who called me here below, Will be forever mine.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years, Bright shining as the sun,

We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise Than when we’d first begun.

Beginning to Balance:
Singing, humming, reading aloud, and chanting are all wonderful ways to open our fifth energy centre, so singing was the first of our stepping stones today.
There are two breathing exercises which help to open and align our throats: first the Lion's Breath. This relieves tension and stress by stretching our entire face, 

including the jaw and the tongue. And it makes us look crazy!

• Sit up straight and put your hands on your knees;
• inhale through your nose;
• then exhale strongly through your mouth, opening your mouth wide,
• sticking your tongue out as far as possible towards your chin –
• and making a 'ha' sound, like a roar!

We'll do this five times...
Now, the Victorious Breath:

• Seal your lips and start to breathe in and out through your nose
• Take an inhalation through your nose that is slightly deeper than normal
• Exhale slowly through your nose while constricting the muscles in the back of your throat

If we're doing this correctly, it's said to sound like the waves in the ocean - or like Darth Vader!

And now we're going to release any tension in our necks:

• First of all dip your chin towards your chest, and then raise it towards the ceiling:
• down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up
• Now look forwards, and turn your head to the right, centre, left, centre,
• right, centre, left, centre, right, centre, left, centre,
• Now bring your right ear towards your right shoulder, centre,
• and your left ear towards your left shoulder, and centre:
• right, centre, left, centre, right, centre, left, centre.
• Finally, circle your head gently and slowly clockwise three times, and anticlockwise three times.

Now we're all relaxed, it's time for our meditation, this time with one of these blue or turquoise pendants round our necks...

Suggested script for Guided Meditation:

The meditation will last for about 5 minutes, so please sit or lie comfortably...

Take a long, deep breath.
As you exhale, imagine a blue glow spreading from the pulse of your throat first to your neck and head, and then to the rest of your body...
Now imagine that you're walking through a forest on a narrow path lined on both sides by huge shade-giving trees...
You hear the sounds of small creatures and the chirping of birds...
In the distance a stream is flowing over a rocky bed, and you can hear it splashing gently...
Imagine you find a small clearing where a huge log has fallen onto the forest floor...
You walk up to it and sit down with your back resting against the log...
The sounds of the forest become clearer, more magical...
and now the sounds become like music, a whole symphony of sound...
As you rest in the music, you become aware that the dappled light shining through the leaves is becoming shadier, bluer, softer...
Rest in this awareness...
Now imagine you gently stand up and start walking back from the fallen log towards the edge of the forest...
The light becomes brighter, more dazzling...
the sounds become soft and faint, gradually fading...
As you come to the edge of the forest, look back and feel at one with the singing...
look forward, and feel at one with the blue brightness...
Now bring your awareness back to your body and to your breathing...
and when you are ready, open your eyes...

Continuing to care for the throat chakra:

There are many ways we can continue to care for our throat chakra, keeping it open and in balance, so that we can express and hear truth.

If you want to continue the practice of chanting, the sound to use for this chakra is, appropriately enough, HUM, and the note B is a good one to use for this if you can.
The colour to visualise is blue or turquoise.
In your yoga practice, it'd be good to do the camel pose again, and the shoulder stand – against a wall if that'd help.
Apart from that, we can continue to wear our blue pendants; we can continue to sing, chant, whistle, hum, and do deep breathing; we can eat soups, stews, sauces, fruits, drink juices and plenty of water; we can play or listen to music that makes us move; we can have a quiet day when you don't talk – although we may need to go out for the day into the countryside or seaside to achieve this, with our phones switched off! We can observe a semi-fast day, when we just take in liquids – water, juices, smoothies; and I'd like you to choose one of the following three things to do before we next meet again – and to bring whichever you choose with you.

The first possibility is to make the opportunity to speak up about something you've been silent about – for example, writing a letter to a newspaper or posting a blog, contacting someone you've neglected, speaking up in a meeting, rather than muttering under your breath... You'll know what it is you need to do.

The second possibility is to start writing a journal, every day if you will.

The third possibility is to write down both an affirmation and an intention – with a deadline for achieving it!

The Sharing:

So now as our time together comes to an end, we recall that today we've thought about communication the challenges of speaking our truth, and our need for renewal; we've begun to practice speaking and listening; we've had some fun with our singing, and our breathing, and released some tension with exercises and meditation; we've learnt a bit about how to care better for our throat chakra, and we've been challenged with a task to choose and complete before we meet again.

Now, as a sign of all that we share, whether we are together or apart, we pass this Loving Cup around the circle, each of us taking a sip of the juice and then serving our neighbour, saying, as we do so:

I share with you the Cup of Blessing.

The Loving Cup is passed around the circle.

And now we say together:
       May we hear and speak truth.
       May our lives and our creations
       express the fullness of who we are.
       And may we all know
       ever deeper levels of joy, light, and love.